This episode comes to you from the great plains of the midwest, homesteader’s cabin, T. S. Elliot on the bedside table, flames in the cookstove casting the only light. (Well, that cabin is where we will sleep, but before we go down there to the windy muddy cold I am writing in a comfy wingback chair against a cowhide pillow, in the climate-controlled home where the wifi roams free.) And today’s topic? [radio voice] Writing for the world to read.
I’m a quiet person who rarely dares to toss a coal of controversy into a fiery conversation. When I write, it’s with time to reflect, no pressure to insert quick wit into the slivers of silence that flicker like gaps between cars of a fast-moving train. Give me the lonely stillness of a blank prairie stretch and my thoughts will wend their way in an unbroken track, destination steadily revealing, and sure.
I write because it gives me grounding discipline in this untethered nomadic life. I write to give meaning, seek truth, record it for future remembrances. Perhaps, though, the question is not why I write, but why I diffuse these thoughts into the ones and zeroes of the cyberspace plain for all and any to read.
In Minnesota, we stayed with friends from India who have two bright and polite children, and who are meticulously maintaining an absence of presence on the internet. How is it that I, who am not particularly fond of social media, can post anything there with abandon?
An Airbnb host laid out his answers for me clearly. He is a young Polish immigrant with a penchant for antique thrift store furniture, and he was certain of two acceptable possibilities. In his view, either a person is blogging to make money (which we aren’t) or to share their life experience with close friends and family (which we are, but not exclusively). The in-between realm in which a person like me tries to build an audience just for the sake of having her voice heard is nothing but vanity. And that’s a sin.
Vanity—there’s that word again. I don’t want to be vain—my least treasured memories (early high school jumps to mind) happened when I was a cyclone of self-centered and wild “what does everyone think of me” thoughts. Look at me, look at me, everyone, I am a teenager trapped in a middle-aged mother’s body on a runaway blog! And I am SO deep.
Yuck.
Setting vanity aside though, I believe there is another possibility. Sharing feels like fishing. I am forever enchanted by the mystery and possibility of casting my line into a pool (or cloud of internet ether) and finding something on the other side. Will anyone nibble? Who is out there beyond that which I can see?
The intention is not to catch and kill but to connect. On the end of my line is not a hook but a dangling nerve tuned to a specific frequency. Is anyone out there listening to the same station as I?
Why do you share? Or why do you not?
I am so enjoying your blog, Holly! You are a very creative, funny and talented writer. What an adventure for your family!
😘
P.S. Not to leave out Chris! He is a great read also!
If you did not write and share, how would we, your eager audience ever get to see through your eyes, and read (literally) your thoughts. Sanja and I are living the adventure through these posts, as much as we dislike social media. So write, and we will be there with you by that same fire, close to that same book.
Thanks for nibbling.
Why do I share? Hm. I definitely have found the last 2 years or so I am much more mindful of what I share.
I’m of the philosophy that sharing on social media is not a negative thing in and of itself. I’ve gone through two mindsets where I was practically addicted (Facebook was new when I was in college) and had a period of maybe a month or two this year where I thought it was pure evil (a bit extreme for me to think that but you know… we go through phases). When sharing becomes an obsession, I do find it sets me up for disappointment. Even as an adult it’s easy to get trapped into the “how many likes can I get” mentality.
I guess I find these days I share to feel a sense of connection. Sharing something about my day I found to be thought-provoking…or maybe my lunch was especially good 😆 Social media should not be anyone’s main source of connection to people, but there isn’t anything wrong with seeking it out once in awhile 🙂
Sound analysis, I think, Laura. And maybe if social media is a person’s only way of connecting, it’s better than nothing?
I think so 🙂
I have moved around my whole life, in fact until I moved to Alexandria my live was measured out in 2-4 year stints in places. That means I have people spread out too. For me, I just enjoy that tiny tether of connection: Oh, my old speech coach is enjoying retirement golfing every damn day. My 3rd grade bestie is a birdwatcher and likes to sketch. My ballet buddy from high school is an art therapist, and has an incredible view of the world. Without this social media thing, those connections would be nonexistent. As for what I put into the ether, there is no such thing as too many pictures of cute dogs or a beautiful garden, right?
Definitely, no such thing as too many cute photos of those things. Hope you got in lots of gardening this weekend! My tether to the earth was in patches of pine-smelling moss and dirt–oases of dry rest on a snowy slog of s hike. Almost like gardening 😘
I write to share…and connect with those things the reader and I have commonality…to encourage even when life isn’t all peaches and cream…
Marnie, I must be hungry, all I’m hearing from you is “peaches and cream.” We had a long hike! Thanks for writing!!
We all have a story. All our stories are meant to be shared. I have been engrossed with the stories of the Vikings and it saddens me to know because they didn’t have stories written down we only get pieces of the stories. These stories then filled in by others that didn’t know their culture. So I say … blog away! Share YOUR story! You get to fill in ALL the pieces!
Hooray! And, just in case this computer thing blows up in our faces, I have a paper journal. Maybe it should be stone!
Holly – we all need “connectedness” in a splintered world! You are a joy to read and I love trying to keep up with you and your tribe of guys!
if wishes were fishes…. and maybe they are? i fish and wish that my voice will be heard by people who care for me… and yes – maybe beyond. i have always wanted to lead a life that is not boring. and in some ways i have achieved that… but honestly, i am very bad at sharing my stories. so thank you for this opportunity to reflect on that slight tingle of unworthiness that i hold myself in. a good thing to reflect upon. fear of vanity? no i think it is fear of rejection… so… some thoughts out to you dear darlin… xo