What have you learned from all this travel?

Inevitably, when we meet someone new and share that we decided to travel the world full-time with our children, we get this response:

It's a great thing you are doing for these kids. 
They are going to learn so much!

Well, we certainly hope so. We think so….To be honest, we aren’t always so sure. To put the theory to the test, I decided to hold an… 

Official Santillo Interview

It was meant to be a check-in. It felt like a test. Would my kids have anything interesting to say? Would you, the future reader of this post, still think we’re doing a great thing? By giving the kids a wide-open forum to discuss their feelings on big questions, would I discover that I’m ruining their lives? 

Or would they (fingers crossed), in their newness, have some insight into questions that this old bird is trying to wrap her brain around?

Parenting is weird

While simultaneously trying to make space for individuality, we aim to infuse these kids with the opinions and perspectives that we hold most dear. We are dredging them around the world a bit like little buds of cauliflower, immersing them in a spicy goo of unfamiliar sights, then setting the oven just right to cook them up to our own tastes. I think I’m hungry. (Long pause to cook dinner.) 

Where was I?

Ah, yes. We were wondering whether bumping around the world and experiencing how other people live is giving our kids perspective. I wanted to know–striving toward equal treatment of all peoples, regardless of color or creed–their perspective on humanity. What is it that makes us the same and makes us different? 

How do we relate to people as individuals, as parts of cultural groups, and as members of whole countries or regions of the world?

Of course, in my calculating parent/teacher ways, I did try to steer the conversation with leading questions. First, to reach back thoroughly into memory, we wrote down the names of all the countries we’ve visited so far and everyone we remembered meeting there. 

Then, in my quest to be thinking about individuals, we told a memory about what we did together. For instance, with Saya and Isa, they tried out recipes, watched movies, did arts and crafts, and went sight-seeing on bikes. With Amael, they played chess and Mongolian ankle bones. With Mariette, they made up imaginative stories and drew comics. You get the idea. 

Next, we opened our lenses to a broader view, thinking of people with whom we interacted but did not develop such a close relationship. There was Davin from art class in Cambodia, who had a pet eagle. Ogna, our driver in Mongolia, who did not like to eat more than one cookie a day, knew how to swear in English and taught us a local drinking game. Julia from Buryatia heard us speaking English on the street and offered to spend her whole day touring us around Ulan Ude.

Anyway, with no further ado, in their words, here is what our kids had to say after a year of nomadic living around the world. 

Seth, age 7

We’ve learned about culture, people, surroundings, and lots of stuff, but I think the thing that I learned that will help me most in my life is the sense of the unknown ahead of us. It’s changed with coronavirus a lot. Now there’s an even bigger world of unknowns that I didn’t know about. I don’t always know what will happen tomorrow.

Leo, age 9

I learned just how big the world actually is. At the same time as we have seen so much of the world, we have seen just a tiny percentage of what there really is out there. But I’m also experiencing, though it’s only just the topsoil layer, a tiny bit of what everyone is experiencing around the world (well, not everyone)… We’re [doing this] to open us to the hardships to what these people have and what those other people have, and what the differences are. [I’m learning] what am I strong in and whether I am better living on this side of the world or in this place. Experiencing is the best way of learning.

Jack, age 11

I didn’t ever consider myself to be that shy. You know, I could go up and ask for directions. But this has helped me get over [shyness] even more….Fluidity and open-mindedness. Fluidity is all about knowing that if something happens tomorrow that completely changes our plan, we will survive. I enjoy the comforts of a home, but now I know that it’s fine without them as well. And open-mindedness means we can experience something and not be prejudiced at first. I’m getting better at that.

I love these kids.

While I had my ideas for what we should be learning about the world, here they are reminding me that we set out to learn about the world inside ourselves, too.

From this experience, I’m reminded that we are all works in progress. We quiz these boys with some of life’s big questions as though we know the correct answers–as though we are qualified to judge their responses. Some days I feel only marginally more mature or developed than them–and less than most people. 

I am ever so grateful for this opportunity to discover and learn together, simultaneously fuse ourselves into a stable family unit, and challenge ourselves as individuals. Jack, Leo, Seth, thank you. Thanks for your perseverance, your even tempers, your trust in us. We strive to see the world through your eyes.

And thanks for the boost in confidence! 
I think it's safe to say we aren't ruining their lives--they ARE learning!

And you?

What about you? What have you learned this year? Have you figured out one of life’s secrets? If so, would you mind sharing your discoveries with us?

I think we all have an image of our future formed long ago that we are trying to live out. Then, when we spend a week or a year or a decade diverging from that template, we feel panicked. We hesitate from adventuring for fear of ruining our lives (or our children’s lives).  

What image of your life do you hold without realizing it? 

Do you see a divergence in your life, from the hypothetical to the actual? Is there some project that you wish to take on from which you are hesitating? 

What if you could do something bold, 
confident it would not ruin your life?