“Love is for people,” declared a wise friend of mine. You will never hear her use the “L” word for anything else. It makes sense, right? When a child says, “I love Pokemon… and I love my mother,” something seems a bit off. That’s why, now, when I catch myself saying something like, “I love ice cream,” or “I love that song,” I pause to ponder whether or not that statement is true. Am I casually robbing the word of its meaning? Maybe so.
You can imagine my surprise when I discovered while scrubbing the kitchen floor at two o’clock in the morning, that I love my house. I know it’s true because I fill with tears every time those words echo in my head. Last night, before listing our house for sale, I was on my hands and knees cleaning its every surface, running my fingers over the places that on a normal day get little more than a sideward glance. This house is where I nursed my babies and sang them to sleep. Where two of them were born and where they have grown up. My brother married his beautiful wife in the living room, who I met for the first time in the carport. We buried our cat outside the kitchen door when she died on Christmas morning. We had a wall-sized world map in the boys’ room to show all the places we have been and will go. Our home is where I learned to cook and to
When people asked me weeks ago if I would have trouble parting with this house, I never imagined that I would feel this way. With a nonchalant wave of the hand, I’d reply, “it’s too big for us,” or “it’s just a house.” It seemed nonsensical to put any heavy emotional stock into this particular set of walls. But, as I now clearly feel, these walls, this floor, these windows and the surrounding ground within their view — they have housed our family and now they house our memories.
For that, house, I am forever grateful.
So, for the sake of integrity, I must say that I don’t love ice cream. I just really, really like ice cream. (okay — really, really, REALLY). Today I wish to state, however, that, despite what my wise friend posits, it is possible to love a house that has been
With love and gratitude,
sweet pea – i cried for you reading this lovely reflection. and home is nothing to be taken for granted… may you carry it in your heart and in your hands – as you are an amazing homemaker.
xoxox
As we have been teaching our kids for years (though they sometimes have to remind us), home is where your family is 😘
I know you are deep in the throes of making a new home and understand!
Where are y’all going?!
Good idea! We will have a post detailing the map soon. Any recommendations? Where would you go on a world voyage?
Your house is also where I found tears and comfort when my kids left for the summer, it’s where my oldest learned to build a fire, where we got ready for my first black belt… you all made that home special for everyone.
Wow, the picture makes it really real that you guys are leaving. Ive had memories there too with being the boys babysitter. Soothing the boys to sleep, having all 3 on the couch watching a cute Disney movie, playing the many trains, planes, and automobiles down in the play area, the games of hide-in-seek, the night the cat brought in a dead snake, which I thought was a toy at first and scared me half to death when i realized it was real. And of course the dinners and parties I was invited to. I loved your home, your family, your friendship and I hope that never changes.
Of course! The night of the dead snake, unforgettable! Thanks for your kind words, Leia. They help a lot!
This is a touching and sweet piece of writing Holly! It is you and your family that turned your house into a home and that very home will travel with you anywhere.
Kay, that’s exactly what we have been telling ourselves–our family is home. Thanks for your encouragement!
I am so happy you shared these memories and your family with us!
Holly,
I LOVE what you wrote. And I am in awe of the journey you all are about to go on and am inspired. On your suggestion after church we went over to the open house to check it out. What a stunning home the two of you created. Can’t imagine how hard it must be to say goodbye to it all. What a beautiful and courageous thing you all are doing. So looking forward to following your journey. What a gift to your boys and yourselves. You are planting a seed of an idea in my mind. ❤️
Oh, yes! Do tell what seeds are planted!
Renshi Holly, I cried when I left our house in Midwest City, Oklahoma. We began a relationship with a cat named, “Hospitality,” and ended one with “Paraclete.” We lived in the house from 1998 until 2003; five years was the longest tenure that a house and I had shared until then. Mine were sobbing tears. But leaving that house began a journey that caused my family’s path to merge with yours for a time. For this journey I am ever so grateful. I love the journey, and that is not a person either.
Cheers for the journey,
Ms. Cheryl
Cheryl, thanks for your understanding words! We are glad to have crossed paths with you, as well.
I have just logged into your blog for the first time after hearing your mothers loss at your move. So much resonates. I angst over what to pack for a trip to Europe for two weeks and have done the every top has to go with every bottom thing until all I have been left with is beige and white and denim. ( fortunately or unfortunately I dont have too much call for work-out clothes although I should probably rethink that strategy). I have lain awake nights worrying about what two pairs of shoes Im going to limit myself to. And that is for two weeks!!
I had to pack the grandkids bags for a trip to the philippines one year as their mother left ahead of them and I had the devil of a job trying to convince my grand-daughter that she didnt need a different cap to go with the twelve outfits she had carefully selected. ( I lost that one) so I’m thinking its a good thing you dont have a daughter. I am greatly looking forward to following your blog as you trek around the world. the Suzhou Silk Institute in China was an amazing place where apprentices are trained from a young age to produce the most extraordinary embroidery if you find yourself there.
Great tip on the silk factory, Maggie. So far I am really enjoying the slim packing cubes, though I think I may find myself trading some old duds for new as the weeks wear on!