Mrs. Santillo’s Guide to Australian Hospitality

When welcoming guests into your home, to create a first-rate experience, it is advisable to take into consideration practices from around the world. Today, we are pleased to offer for such purposes a few suggestions that come from various lodging arrangements in the Antipodes. Australians, or Aussies, as they are lovingly self-named, ought to be known worldwide for the great efforts they are willing to expend to give travelers a well-needed rest. The following list derives from this columnist’s first-hand experience during a recent visit.

When Treating Guests As An Aussie Would, Do:

Invite people you have only just met to dine and stay the night, whether in your small bachelor’s flat, gorgeously refurbished historic home, grandfather’s farm, mother’s beach property, or brother’s townhouse.

Make sure they have the most comfortable sleeping arrangement possible. This all-important step may require you to borrow/purchase necessary supplies such as air mattresses, sleeping bags, pillows, or an enormous canvas tent. As a last resort, if such items are unavailable, you ought to give your guests your mattress and sleep on the sofa cushions.

Cheerfully allow them full use of your kitchen and all its spices to make their kind of food, as they are sure to be missing familiar dishes. Be sure to give their green juice and lentil concoction a taste and say, “This is really yum,” (even if you’d rather have a bit of beef from the barbie).

Provide transportation so that your guests can readily explore. Give them a lift whenever and wherever they wish. Or, if possible, loan them your car. Even better, consider driving up to two hours to pick up a family member’s ‘ute’ for this purpose.

Ensure your guests that their presence is welcome by spending time together. Accompany them on their daily explorations, even if you do not share their interest in, say, animal parks or libraries, and even if you are desperate for some sleep because you’ve just worked a night shift. Hike with them down to your favorite secret ‘billabong’ (that’s Australian for a swimming hole). Take them kayaking, berry picking, and horseback riding. Gather up a friend or two and throw them a pizza party. Go the necessary distance to accept their invitation to tea (and don’t tease them for not knowing that ’tea’ in Australia often consists of a full meal around dinnertime).

If an emergency arises, be sure to see your guests to safety. In the case of bush fire or severe winds, evacuate and stay with them through the night at the nearest shelter. Should one of your guests suffer an injury, accompany him to the emergency room, help him navigate the medical system, and stay by his side until he is all patched up.

When it is time to bid a fond farewell, make a lasting impression. Rather than just giving a lift to the station, wait with your guests for their train, give great bear hugs and promises for a future visit, then wave as the car pulls away, and, if inspired to do so, hesitate not in shedding a tear (Australians possess the balance of toughness and sincerity in mythical proportion).

Follow these guidelines, and you are sure to provide your guests with genuine Australian hospitality.

Now, please remember that when you are a guest, there are also many essential rules for exhibiting proper decorum. In this spirit of this article, we wish to include snippets of etiquette particular to an Antipodean exchange.

As the American recipient of Australian good graces, don’t:

• Joke that Australia was founded by convicts — something of a sore spot and a bit of an exaggeration.
• Compare America’s colonial history to that of Australia — they are quite different.
• Say anything and everything that comes to your mind— you risk perpetuating the reputation that Americans are loud and pompous.
• Assume that all Australians know the movie “Crocodile Dundee” — though, it is appropriate to introduce them to the film; they also tend to find it humorous.
• Impersonate an Australian accent — unless adequately trained, it is quite challenging to hide your American vowels and consonants.
• Discuss politics — likely good advice all around the world.
• Assert that the steering wheel is “on the wrong side of the car” and drive on the right-hand side of the road — these are rude and dangerous, respectively.

Visit Australia Or At The Very Least Offer Australian Hospitality

We wish you the best of luck in creating an amenable and memorable encounter with your guests or hosts, Australian or otherwise. Remember, we are all ambassadors, and every human exchange is an opportunity to nurture each other with kindness. In a world of certain uncertainties, this is truly a noble pursuit accessible to all.

Thank you to all of our Australian friends, old and new, for making our visit some wonderful and memorable.

No Australians were harmed in the making of this post.